I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
