Midget sex pt 2 tonight
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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