The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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