I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize