Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize