I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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