I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i am craving dick and cupcakes
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
