id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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