yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
