He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
