so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
