i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
