Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
