my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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