I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I've blown a few things in my day
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
