either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Randomize
