if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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