Banned from zoo.
Again?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
