one two three fourrrrnication!
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
