well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
