why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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