Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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