My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
