Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Mom said you looked used
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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