Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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