I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Ambien. No doubt about it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
