Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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