if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
