i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
