WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
