never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
