i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize