so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
