dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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