3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
