why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
