You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
