I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
