I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize