Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
bring money and cleavage
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
the liver wants what the liver wants
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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