idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
