I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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