Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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