she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
