Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Randomize
