I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize