She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize