Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
