i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
