You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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