I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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