I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
