So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i will never coherently bang her
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
