i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize