The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
