I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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