Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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