1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
