porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
