Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
