I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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