I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
