I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
