i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
