my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
