5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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