official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We have so much sex to catch up on
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
