We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize