Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
