You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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