I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
